Well I was checking out YouTube and ended up watching some of George Carlin’s stuff.. That was a good performance in itself.

George Carlin was much more than an ordinary comedian more a teacher or social commentator. He uses bad language to good effect, he entertains and teaches at the same time. Enough from me check out some of his stuff:-


The big picture

So coming up is the auction at Bonham’simg_3561

Some people call me crazy well in some ways I am. On the 7th December there is an auction at Bonham’s and my painting is there. It may fetch a lot it may or fetch nothing. Everyone has now been informed from the White House to Nick Mason (seriously) it was easier finding the email address for the White House than Nick Mason. and do you know what ‘I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY!’

That painting has been a pain, I used to carry it around in its frame from the UK to the US and frankly I’ll be glad to see it go at no reserve. Life is more important and I’ve made some important decisions about that recently.

The poem IF is my mantra, my dad used to quote it at every opportunity when I was a youngster being read poetry as I went to sleep. One day I may become a man hmm.


So what the hell, the worst that could happen is….hmm what do you think? I’d really be interested to know..





Now that’s quite a statement to make and is not something I’m proud of saying. We should all be afraid of something even if it’s a spider or death, we should all surely fear death! But I don’t, and haven’t for 25 years, and in those 25 years that lack of fear has got me into some quite difficult situation. I wasn’t ‘afraid’ of those situations, just put out.To understand why I have no fear you have to understand a few things..

Image result for nirvana buddhism
Number 1. I’m Buddhist, which in itself should be my shield against fear. If I die I will simply be reborn. But I don’t want to be reborn! This eternal process of death and rebirth is what a few of us ‘people’ are wanting to avoid. I’ve met some of those extraordinary people in my life and they, like me don’t appear to be afraid. They are indeed tasked and ‘put out’ by events but they appear to have no fear. After all if they have to be reborn, well it’s just another delay, but another chance to reach that magical state of Nirvana. So that briefly explains the why of number 1.
Number 2. This is what affected me more than close friends and family realise, and it would take a book to explain in detail. Maybe one day along with all of the dozens that I should write.Image result for multan pakistan map

It all started 25 years ago when I was 40. My girlfriend at the time had been abducted to a small town in Pakistan. Now the place itself whilst poor and in some parts dangerous, was a happy place where most people greeted you with a smile (smiling’s important remember that). I had gone there completely alone to find my 21 years old girlfriend but despite throwing myself (against all advice and threats) into the lion’s den I failed. That failure will remain with me for the rest of my life, as it was because of me that ‘R’ was taken there (I was too trusting).
Multan in the Punjab (where I ended up) was close to where they found and executed Osama Bin Laden. I spent 2 weeks there but they were the most upsetting 2 weeks of this life. I came back broken. Not just physically but spiritually broken.

Image result for multan pakistan pictures

It’s taken years to build back that strength in spirit but I managed it. Physically however, I’m a long way off and may never finish that journey. I hope that one day I can leave that sadness behind me, hope is all I have left.
Number 3. I have met some very good people in my life but I’ve also met some very bad people, sometimes, as I said recently it’s hard trying to sort out the wheat from the chaff. I live (for now) in Gozo (Malta). Gozo is renowned for being a spiritual and healing island. I didn’t know that when I came but I’ve learned it since. As with many places it’s populated with good and bad people. But I’ve never experienced the extremes of both, as much as I have here in Gozo. Gozo is a magnet to people looking for the energy the island gives off, unfortunately that ‘magnet’ attracts the good the bad and the (for want of a better word) the evil. I know some of both types, some I’ve confronted and to a lesser degree exposed in my recent posts.

Image result for gozo

But like any journey like this, it takes time and ‘money’. Right now I have very little of either but hey ho! If that’s the worst that can happen that someone may kill me! So what!
NOW RIGHT NOW, I’m on a path of helping others, I have always tried to do that even from being a small child, and I find that more rewarding than, all the tea in China. I have some challenges ahead of me starting tomorrow, but even though I’d like to feel fear I can’t . THAT is my burden that I will carry until I die. Peace and Love… Namaste..

John Paul Chalkley..the storyteller.


GOZO customer service part 1, the Good the Bad and the (I haven’t made up my mind yet) read part 2 coming soon..

img_4057Since I came to Gozo I have been amazed at the variation in customer service. One thing you CAN say about the US is that they believe in good customer service. When they failed me badly I inevitably took them to court and with their system won fairly good payouts. However as I have been told the legal system in Malta is very time consuming I prefer not to get involved in that time and expense…. but we shall see.

TOP OF THE LIST FOR GREAT CUSTOMER SERVICE…Ta Pinu Pharmacy, I have written about the service that Marica at Pa Pinu has given me in other posts and she only get better as time goes by. The pharmacy is relatively new opened 2015 and like my own business The Divine LOVE Tea shop has no doubt had some tough times but you can always rely on Marica to give you 100%. She is a smart and attractive young lady unfortunately for this old man engaged to Karl haha.

They are followed by GO mobile phones and quite a few others, who will be highlighted in part 2.

TOP OF THE LIST FOR BAD CUSTOMER SERVICEBanif Bank, One of the first posts I wrote was about HSBC or How Stupid Bankers Can be I made it quite clear at the time some of their failings and as usual pulled no punches but they have settled down and are about to have the honor haha of having my business account after months of being messed around by Banif. I wrote to the chairman only to get a long boring and defencive monologue about what I her customer did wrong etc etc. Well when you ring Banif you get a message that says the conversation will be recorded, so I did the same. I may post that at some stage..maybe part 2.

Next on the BAD list is Lidl, they are the biggest (but not the best) grocery chain in Gozo.They are totally disorganized. Never a manager available (or so they say), always lines of people at the cash outs, when the staff are stood around looking busy? So here we go Lidl (and Lidl’s chairman). I’ve had lot’s of run ins with your shop but the latest while it wasn’t by far the worst was THE FINAL STRAW. Today I bought a vacuum cleaner, Maria my cleaner has managed really well without so far 10/10 Maria. But when I returned to my house in Gharb from Victoria we found they not only forgot to give me the adapter (so I got another from my shop) but the damn thing didn’t work. We sat for ages trying to figure it out but no joy. So I get it repacked into the box and set off for Victoria (all this time my shop which we donate all profits to charity has to remain closed and we are losing money).I arrive at the shop and explain the problem, the guy wasn’t the sharpest pencil in the box so I asked for the manager, as usual no manager. Who’s in charge, blank look. Are you in charge, big nod err yes? OK then this is what has happened so I go over everything. Just take it and get a new one. Now under normal circumstance that wouldn’t be a problem but what if the new one doesn’t work can you try it for me and make sure it works?NO!

So I go to the LONG line of people at the checkout (my tea shop is still closed). Its painfully slow so off I go with the useless cleaner and rush back to the shop, more €s, at this rate I won’t make enough to pay the rent (which by the way is 600 cash a month). Everything is cash in Gozo (I’m not surprised with the service the banks give) but most is to avoid paying taxes.

Finally for now, Melita Frankly I’m in no mood to have my chain yanked as they say in good ole Texas. My internet TV and Phone stopped working at home, hours spent trying to get it to work no luck so I think while I’m in Victoria (Rabat) I’ll ask hem whats the problem, I arrive at 1 minute past 6pm they are closing the door I ask if I can just tell them something NO GO AWAY they say and close the door and walk away!! I had enough, I go to GO and they are coming the next day to remove the Melita crap and install their great equipment (and at a better rate). The guy behind the counter at GO was really helpfull and gave great advice.

So now finally after a manic day the haven’t made up my mind yet list. SOME of these are very very delicate and I don’t think its in either of our interest to name those especially those with religious affiliations. But the normal day to day companies I have no issue naming (they know what I’m looking for just GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE). I am their customer not the other way around so :

  • Oh I could go on all day but I can add in Part 2. That may prove some interesting reading, I have to go now and serve late night coffee (wel every penny counts or cents as they are here)

Talk about how to win friends and influence people, sleep tight tonite.




Time has been a big problem for me recently, I’ve never been so busy. I have a lot of thoughts stored up in my head but haven’t had the time to put them in writing and in so doing get rid of them. However here goes, just a small part of what’s up there. The Gozitan’s are an unusual people and Gozo is a unique place, why? Some 400 years ago the whole population hid up in the Citadella from the Moors. The Moors captured all but a few hundred of the island’s total population and sold them into slavery.

Today the result of that traumatic event is in my opinion evident in the traditions that the population engage in. Loud fireworks, Hidden houses, no respect for banks (cash is king). The list goes on and on. First of all loud fireworks. When the loud bangs happened tonight (and every other night this week), I noticed that no-one enjoyed the noise. Quite the opposite they all looked in pain. So why do this? Well if you were being invaded by a huge powerful army or attacked by devils wouldn’t you want them to think you were more powerful than you were? Hence the load bangs, they were enough to scare the devil himself away.

What about their houses. The outside looks like an old shabby garage, but once inside its marble and gold leaf, a palace. Surely this is an example of their habit of not displaying their wealth and hiding away from the outside world.

Everyone distrusts banks, Gozitan’s are no different and they prefer to keep their cash under the mattress. Having had experience of the banks here I can understand why. The people here aren’t exactly forthcoming, but I’ve made many Gozitan friends on the island that I’m convinced is the tip of the mountain of Atlantis.

Now it’s 10pm at night and still the explosions are going off continuously, this really is quite annoying I’d like to get my hands on the throats of those that are doing this. I can hear babies crying in the background. Whatever the reason, religious, legend, custom whatever, this is crap. All I want is to get to sleep. Police do your job get them to shut the F up.


Well enough for now but there is so much to cover. I will add to this in due course. PEACE x



Even today after so long I have to admit I get quite emotional when I read this Nelson Mandela quote (long story, way too long for a blog). I arrived on Gozo 7 weeks ago (just 7 weeks) and I continue to be amazed at the place I feel has always been my home. Maybe I am the new boy around here (so what) but despite the fact that I’ve never been busier in my life, I still feel compelled to write, believe it or not it helps clear my mind. There are so many important events starting to reach climax, when you stand back and observe what’s going on it’s easier to see the connections. Gobbledegook NO you just need to be here to feel the energy.


George Carlin in his sketch ‘Stuff’ pretty well sums up how I got here due to the events in Texas. I arrived with 2 suitcases, a small amount of savings , but a LOT of baggage. Now I see the Citadella is about to open with a big celebration… happy, the hospital is about to be privatised…sad, Free Speech is on the verge of being questioned…sad, the Crazy Brit is about to open a tea shop in Gharb (he’s gotta be crazy). With all this activity it’s getting quite exhausting and doctors orders say, I have to slow down (I thought I saw myself leaving the house as I returned yesterday). The people who care about Gozo (and there are many) need to Raleigh together to make sure some of the changes (like hospital privatisation) don’t have a negative effect on their island. We should be helping each other (not blaring a  car horn) when someone makes a minor driving mistake. Remember the Starfish Story:


I really do have to get some sleep now or my new partner ‘business partner’ is going to be quite concerned at me not following doctor’s orders,perhaps I’ll add more to the blog just as soon as I have more time ha ha. Namaste x


This Blogging is turning into an addiction, once you start you just can’t stop (as the actress said to the bishop). And all these sexual innuendos also have to stop, people will start to think I’m a sex maniac, well unfortunately ladies I’m not (I’m simply a little crazy).

As you can imagine being crazy, I would expect to attract crazy people, which as it happens today when I attended a seminar on “The Law of Attraction” given by the excellent Philip Holden simply wasn’t the case. Our small group met at the “Lotus Tal-Qalb” in my little village of (I’m still not saying) on Gozo, and what a wonderful group of people they were. I’m not telling you their names as one of the few rules of the meeting was complete confidentiality, which when I saw how we all opened up was a good thing. Everyone said what was in their hearts, as Philip guided us through the process.


I have to say at this point that I thought I knew a lot already about the LOA, (how wrong I was).We went much further than what I’ve described in previous blog posts, (they were a few years ago now during a different life, I was in good old Texas then). We did all sorts of things, past life regression, meditation, but most of all, (with only one exception Philip) we cried our hearts out. Even though I was the only guy in the group (apart from P.H) I shared my feelings in a completely open and honest way (honesty is the best policy in everything, yes including blogs) and the tears rolled. We connected with our previous selves which I know may sound strange to those sceptics out there, but like I always say “don’t knock it ’till you’ve tried it”

When I first met Philip, just a few days earlier at another of his sessions, I really entered as a complete sceptic (he told me he realised that in today’s meeting) however I left that meeting full of questions and doubts. Today any doubts I had are now gone, I’m completely convinced, and while I won’t tell Y’all what to do (Y’all it’s that Texas slang slipping in again), it’ll be gone very soon, I can totally recommend you trying it (the L.O.A not the Texas slang ha ha).


Philip started with some limited rules, which were extremely useful and helped keep the room “in tune with each other”. He taught us many techniques, without exception every one of his students experienced the palpable energy  in the room, even the toughest of us openly cried (ME). WOW! what an experience, we regressed to previous incarnations even me (in a way)! We talked openly about the experience, there was no bluffing, even those of us that were embarrassed to admit who they’d been in their previous lives owned up (me again), and what an experience that was. The tears flowed as our emotions came to the surface, and I rather embarrassingly admitted who I felt I had “experienced”.

Now as it’s all confidential I’m not telling what the five ladies in the room said, but I can and will reluctantly tell you what I experienced. I really have to qualify myself here, I’m not saying I was this person, that would be too great a leap of faith for you and for me, but somehow I definitely experienced this person’s life. I struggled with my hearing, which is quite bad now and I’ll explain why in a later post, (yep blame Texas again) but I still managed to stay on track maybe I diverted a little, but I caught up with my emotions. So who was this person? I really am embarrassed to say his name (and it takes a lot to embarrass me nowadays) but lets just say my initials are J.C and his were the same. I’ve mentioned him in previous posts.

Maybe it was because I was “hard of hearing” or maybe it was because I’ve been thinking a lot about Jesus Christ recently (I describe my faith in good old Facebook as a Christian Buddhist) as anyone who reads my blogs or are my F.B friends will know. I hope this isn’t regarded as blasphemy, because I’m certainly not the second coming. One young man sadly thought he was “The second coming” when I met him November 2014. It was in a psychiatric ward in Wales, unfortunately he was diagnosed as schizophrenic, and he was a really nice kid, he played guitar for us whenever we asked (wouldn’t harm a fly) and in my opinion he wasn’t crazy. In fact maybe he was saner than most so-called “normal people” but that will be another post for another time.

My “experience” was kinda like I felt what J.C felt. Believe me I don’t think of myself as religious. I would argue (and so would The Buddha) that Buddhism isn’t a religion (and that should be the subject of its own blog). In fact in my view religion has been the cause of much of the worlds troubles, whether it be Jews, Christians or Muslims, we continue to fight among ourselves, yet we supposedly believe in the same god. Well if I’m crazy so are all those Jews, Christians and Muslims. I know in this day and age that’s a dangerous statement to make, like Salmon Rushdie (and I don’t want to end up like him).

I know very well as it happens, people from all three of these religions and we all got one famously, too famously in one particular case (and that will never appear in a blog).The only group that happens to be tolerant of other religions are Buddhists, what does that tell ya?

So yes I experienced being in the manger, preaching, doing miracles and dying on the cross, and when J.C finally rose from the grave wasn’t that a kind of reincarnation? Well as I say I’m certainly not claiming to be him reincarnated or otherwise, but maybe because I got my wires crossed I simply experienced what Jesus Christ experienced, and it was mind-blowing for me. Yes I can hear some of you cynics saying Christ the Crazy Brit is really crazy, well I’ve never denied that, but I’m not prepared to keep quiet about the feelings that Philip brought out not just in me but the others in our group.

The stories were fascinating, some of us played a part in the lives of each others experience (some of the group may have been my three wise men and I know who Mary and Joseph were) but my lips are sealed (I’m sure that Philip won’t mind me saying he was probably the donkey, in fact I think he likes to think he’s built like a donkey, but that his fantasy), and I don’t think we need to go there.

We experienced other things which I can remember, but find it hard to explain the technique to get there, you’ll need to visit Philips website to ask for that information. Hey for anyone that didn’t realize that these blue highlighted words are “hyperlinks” to further information (I know some of us aren’t tech savvy) his website is Hey I experienced something today that for once I find hard to put into words. Imagine that, the Crazy Brit stuck for words….

Excuse me I had to stop for a while, Bobbin, (my daughter Sarah) just rang to see how I was doing, we haven’t spoken since we said goodbye before I left. I need to prioritize things, she and my boys (grandsons) Emin and Oliver will always be my greatest priorities, and the ones who I can trust and as  we know “Trust is like virginity, once you lose it you never get it back” well that’s what they say. But I believe that people can earn your trust once they’ve lost it, provided both parties want the same thing (The Law of Attraction).

At the end of our day Philip asked us to pick a card from a set of cards I’d never seen the like before. We all picked our card and showed it to everyone P.H then read directly from a book that came with the cards and described what our card said about us. This was the final straw for me, yet again he hit the nail on the head, or should I say the card did.


For those that can’t see my card its Mattraya  now if that’s not convincing you are a very sceptical person and I strongly suggest you stop reading my blogs.

We all hugged and said our goodbyes, yep there was a little kissing involved, but nothing the only straight guy in the room couldn’t handle, I felt we’d really bonded today and we went away in an air of enlightenment, peaceful, happy and harmonious. And isn’t that what I said I’ve been searching for all these years.

I like to leave on a funny note, so talking about virginity, (I know we weren’t) but yesterday I learned the translation of the Maltese name for where I live “Virtu Court” believe it or not its Virgin Court. Now as I said to a friend only today, it’s a long time since I’ve been in a virgin (crap I’m not supposed to make sexual innuendo and Bobbin may read this) but as a funny guy used to say “I know I’m awful, But I like it” can any of you Brits out there remember who that was? let me know in the comment below if you can.

Until next time peeps, Its goodnight from me, and its goodnight from him.

(Hey whose crazier here, me for writing this stuff or you for reading it) Gotcha x

John Paul Chalkley aka The Crazy Brit

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Peace, happiness and look for harmony (it helps).