The Dark Side

Dark Side over Gozo/Dark side of the Moon?

So a big concert is planned this month called ‘Dark side over Gozo’ I wonder if anyone has listened to the full album right at the end when it say’s “There is no dark side of the moon, as a matter of fact it’s all dark”. Hmm could this be the case for Gozo?

I think most people who visit Gozo will recognise there’s an energy here, the island attract thousands each year many come to experience the energies of the place and energy is certainly here you feel it as soon as you step off the ferry. But whilst these energies are a source for those who are looking towards goodness, peace, love and harmony, inevitably that same energy will attract those looking more towards the dark side. Gozo is steeped in history, some believe the island is the site of Atlantis, hundreds of years ago almost the entire population was captured from the Citadella were they gathered together to defend themselves but lost and sent into slavery by the Moors, the handful left on the island became very insular, who wouldn’t when most of the population had gone, it must have felt quite like those books written about the end of civilisation as we know it, the end of days. Talking of books many have been written about the history of the island and its big brother Malta, (Malta is considered the male whilst Gozo is the female).

Citadella,_Victoria_(Gozo) — Gozo Citadella

Conspiracy theorists talk about ‘The New World Order’ again many books and evidence are available for anyone interested in checking this subject out and I’d like to examine some of this evidence later, but back to Gozo.

Having lived here (Gozo) for a year now and having spent 10 years in the USA the comparisons are quite eye opening. How different these two countries are in so many ways. Of course the US was involved in slavery, but they used the slaves rather than become one. We Europeans invaded and conquered America taking the land from the indigenous population, America is a melting pot of races, colour and religion. Gozo is predominantly white and Catholic.

Gozitan’s are very secretive about their wealth yet there are said to be more billionaires here on this tiny island than that in The Swiss centre of banking, there’s no outward expression of wealth here (you’d think the average guy was ‘dirt poor’). But go into their houses and their wealth is many times quite evident. Houses that from the outside look more like a rundown garage are like palaces inside. Yet they drive around in beat up old cars (some have custom jobs in the garage though). Everything is cash, banks are avoided and tax avoidance is clearly rife. Wherever you go many places have a notice saying ‘cash only’. Compare this to the US.

In the US paying with cash is almost unheard of, the card is king. People give an outward appearance of wealth whether it’s the house they live in, the car they drive or the clothes they wear, yet many are up to their eyes in debt. Debt is what keeps the population in its place, wage slaves! Yet America so deeply in debt as a population and a country is considered the most powerful country in the world. In my travels no two places can be considered so different. You have to ask yourself does this make sense.

Well that’s where the New World Order conspiracy theories come into play.

World leaders have many times quoted the New World Order. From Churchill Nixon Bush and many more. The evidence is impelling and covers so many areas.

We are controlled by many institutions, the banks, drug companies, big Agriculture companies and even our religions. The people behind it are said to be the Rockefeller’s, the Rothschild’s and others. But how and why?

Whoever coined the phrase ‘united we stand, divided we fall’ (also the motto for Kentucky USA) was probably thinking far differently at the time and likely hadn’t considered how vulnerable the mass population would become if they all joined together under one message (one enemy is easier to tackle than many).

The United Nations was established under the premise of avoiding conflict and making the world a better place, but has it. Agenda 21 of the UN is supposed to set out the course, unfortunately these type of messages aren’t always what they seem and only individual research can open your eyes to that.

A small example of false messages is George Bush’s “No child left behind act”. What a great idea, create a framework where all children had equal opportunity, but it was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It served to indoctrinate children, tried to fit round pegs in square holes, it failed, and now more kids decide to drop out than stay in. When people have fought against this ‘one size fits all’ attitude the government (under the control of the New World Order) stepped in to quash their efforts, and it continues to be the case today. Kids in the US are more and more ‘taught to test’ they’re forced to learn what the government wants them to learn and if history doesn’t say what it wants, no problem just change the history books. You don’t pass the test, you don’t graduate, you don’t graduate, try getting a decent job! So it starts with education and making sure that our children are conditioned to believe what they want them to believe. Obey the rules or else.

“Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

Choice is becoming limited in the US there are just two main political parties diversity is lost and despite the heated exchanges that take place it’s still difficult to recognise the differences (real differences) between the two.

“The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum….” – Noam Chomsky

So to religion, a very dangerous area to open up, wars are fought in the name of religion, people feel very deeply about their religion whether it’s Christianity, Islam, Judaism etc. Religion itself has in my opinion always been used to instil order, sometimes for the good but also for the bad. But even here what appears to be a good well-meant idea is in danger of being used for the benefit of a few. Take “Bahá’í which believes in the unity of all religions. They have incorporated Jesus, Moses, Muhammad, and Buddha, among others, into their teachings and practices. Bahá’í is essentially the de-facto religion of the United Nations”. On the face of it a good idea but knowing how the cartel works would it just play into their hands?

Most people are aware of the way the banks, drug companies and big Agri chemical companies control us and there’s a wealth of information out there if you just look. So you say to yourself if this New World Order are so clever why don’t they simply get rid of the evidence. They don’t care that we know what’s happening take a quote.. “For more than a century ideological extremists at either end of the political spectrum have seized upon well-publicised incidents such as my encounter with Castro to attack the Rockefeller family for the inordinate influence they claim we wield over American political and economic institutions. Some even believe we are part of a secret cabal working against the best interests of the United States, characterising my family and me as ‘internationalists’ and of conspiring with others around the world to build a more integrated global political and economic structure–one world, if you will. If that’s the charge, I stand guilty, and I am proud of it.“—David Rockefeller. So is a well organised New World Order a good thing? Would it make our world a better place? WHY?

Only those few can answer that question in entirety but maybe its as simple as this. Perhaps they recognise that our earth can only support a finite population for the world to continue they need to remove what they see as the parasites that’s you and me and the billions of others that are considered unnecessary for their vision of a world that is sustainable, perhaps they are right! World population has without a doubt grown to what is becoming unsustainable, wars and pandemics help cull the herd and to some extent they have proved effective in the past but isn’t that a little like taking a sledge hammer to crack a nut? Maybe there is another way, birth control? Wow think of the current battles of the proponents and opponents to such an idea. Or maybe we have other options and those options haven’t yet arrived. Who knows we the human race may be the product of another race of aliens who felt the solution was colonising other planets. Far-fetched? Not so long ago evidence was found in Malta and other parts of the world of aliens having been here (see elongated skulls found in Malta). Maybe it can be a combination of many things to ensure the continuation of ‘civilisation’ as we know it.http://www.theearthchild.co.za/david-attenborough-says-humans-plague-earth/

I’m getting on a bit now (as the skull shows) in the autumn of my years, maybe, but I have children, and children are our future, perhaps we should set aside our differences and yes pull together to make it a better place, safer place for our children and those yet to come.

Dark side over Gozo. Not everything is black and white, not everything lasts forever, there are problems to be solved and rather than one small elite thinking they have the answer ‘The Secret’ perhaps we should use our resources and knowledge share and work towards not a New World Order but a world of LOVE. It sounds a better option to the alternative. Continue reading “The Dark Side” →

Customer Service part2

So now it’s down to name and shame, I have given these ‘suppliers’ enough time to redeem themselves, now it’s time to open up the ridiculous situation they have put me in.

DeBono Upholstery.

THE LAST TIME THE AWNING WAS UP..

John DeBono on the face of it appears to be a nice guy, and I’m not so sure it’s with him that I have ‘De Bone to pick’. This whole episode would border on a comedy sketch if it didn’t have such serious consequences, not just for me, but for the organisations my little tea shop was going to help and it’s customers. This ‘awnings’ debacle started with the landlord of the shop Joe Sultana. When I was viewing the shop for the first time he pointed out that the largest awning was damaged in one corner where a bus had hit it. “Insurance I asked”? No he was too late to claim on insurance he says, so I have to sort out the damaged awning (not such a big issue me thinks), famous last words again. He introduces me to two suppliers and I find DeBono Upholstery to be the most ‘convenient’. After a long process we agree the material and colour of the new awnings and a price €1250 to cover both frames, we have the chairs covered at the same time (I do most of the work on those).

They arrive and remove both frames, several weeks later the job is done its looking good and Hug’s Tea shop is finally open for business. But not for long! After a rainfall the ‘Hug’s part of the sign slides off the awning, it’s replaced (I am told) by a butterfly that lands at the same moment on the spot where the Hug’s lettering used to be. “It’s a sign” Margaret one of the ladies there at the time say’s. No,it’s called delamination I replied jokingly, (I used to run a very large paint company, so I do know a bit about paint).

BEFORE WORK BEGAN

I contact John DeBono we have a problem. Now I come to think of it even though my Guru Prabhu has come to my tea shop in Gozo from Bali and blessed the place, perhaps this is indeed a sign and I should think about giving it another name. Hug’s teashop has barely opened its door when the sign comes down and we agree a new name ‘The Divine LOVE Teashop’ this is not only a name agreed to be a good one by Prabhu, but also Father Gerard from Ta Pinu.

Now the ‘fun’ begins. I chose a new graphic but have to get Aaron at Gozo Creations to make a 3 part stencil, so that John DeBono can do the job. I spend hours going backwards and forwards sorting out these issues. I buy the paint to do the job. Paint that won’t slide off at the first sign of rain. This is not only costing me a lot of money in materials but each time I have to close the shop to do what these suppliers should be doing for me I lose custom and money. But I kinda figured that not having a sign above the door to tell people what we are, isn’t going to help pull the customers in.

I collect the stencil from Aaron at Gozo Creations, he’s not there but his guy hands me the stencil with the invoice attached. I take both to John DeBono, at this stage I’m not sure who’s responsible for the €50 cost of the stencil. I detach the invoice and leave the stencil with DeBono. I return to the tea shop only to find a message from Aaron saying why didn’t I pay the bill??? Hang on here who’s the customer? This is about customer relations. It then transpires that he goes to DeBono, gets the stencil off him and takes it back to his shop. These people are absolutely effing crazy, customer service? They wouldn’t recognise customer service while they have a hole in their backside. Angry.. well I’m trying very hard not to be, but this whole episode is disturbing my Karma. I go, pay the bill (cash as always they accept no other form of payment). I retrieve the stencil for DeBono. At each stage of painting they ask me to make sure they are doing it right, so at each stage I close the shop to drive into Rabat (Victoria).

Eventually after a very long process the awning is finished. It’s looking good (not great) but better than nothing. Now I’d already paid €625 of the bill for the awning, so DeBono is owed the other half. No problem I have the money (despite having no customers). He initially agree to collect the money when he brings the awning to fit, then keeps changing his mind. I’m getting a ‘tad’ bit impatient. I’m losing a LOT of money here, all of my pension is invested in this, and this is no joke. So now we have a standoff, my attorney as far as I’m concerned should sue the arse off him, teach him and whoever is behind this a lesson. I want compensation for loss of earnings, distress, materials supplied etc. PLUS what about the theft of my awning frame?

THE HUG’S SIGN

I am Buddhist and believe in peace but sometimes you have to fight fire with fire and I firmly believe this is one of those times. So here I am I open the teashop proper in July 2016 and January 2017 still no sign. Enough said….. click here to see the place>>>>>>>>>> Before I moved in

The landlord ‘Joe Sultana’ is a small man with a ‘complex’. He enjoys flexing his skinny muscles especially when the ladies are around, he’s around 70, wears gold earrings, he has a ‘Russian’ wife and two small children. Nice kids, nice wife, but as his wife confided once to Lidia (my own, now ex Russian business partner) he’s not all he appears to be. The ‘restaurant’ that he used to run, is filthy when I move in, I mean really filthy. He used to prepare food in the basement. If the health department had seen the conditions down there he would have been closed down. Jeffries was a health hazard, and apart from anything else it took many hours to bring the place up to scratch. I worked day and night (helped by Lidia) to paint, move walls, sort out plumbing …the list goes on. I eventually got quite ill and spent 6 weeks recovering. But hey, onwards and upwards (LMAO). Now this Joe Sultana is a crook there’s no other way of describing him. While I’m away he persuades Lidia (my partner) to pay him €50 cash for utilities?? First of all that wasn’t our utility consumption, secondly he was taking advantage of a lady, and this Crazy Brit draws the line there.

We have a contract I stick to the contract, he completely ignores a contract ‘that his attorney’ drew up. He arrives without warning demanding rent, bawling and shouting in front of my customers. I try to calm him down, “I’ll go to the bank and get your €600 (I don’t keep that sort of money in my back pocket)”. He also wants a utility bill paying (a bill for supply before I even moved in). I am in grave danger of losing my temper and believe me if that happens I wouldn’t want to be around.

Now when I came to Gozo I came to rest, relax, heal and retire. I’d had a pretty rough time with my ex-wife in Texas, she took me for every penny I had, and I arrived with very little money in Gozo at the start of May 2016. But I worked hard and made something, not just for me but for society. Now Gozo is going to experience another crusade because I have absolutely nothing to lose. I have named and shamed everyone so far. I will continue until this place is running in a way to deserve its place as the leader of the EU…we shall see??

GREEN GOZO

I think I’ve said quite enough about me in previous posts (I hear cheers in the background) perhaps you the reader would like to be heard? All you have to do is post a comment below (as long as you like) and I’ll make sure it gets ample coverage. Ladies if you want to send photos that would be very nice, the more revealing the better (whoops I’ve started already and its only 4-30 in the morning). Gentlemen (Ha there are no gentlemen reading this) don’t bother, no photos of you are worth taking up any space. Sorry! But seriously, yes I can be serious now and then, for this next post I really would appreciate some involvement from some of my readers, I know a lot of you have far more knowledge of the subject than I have but I’m happy to get the ball rolling and who knows we may be able to start a forum or blog about our island Gozo that would get some traction with “the powers that be”.

Why is it that some friends always seem to have a wine glass in their hand?

Last night I joined a group of friends for the first time (as the new boy on the island) and our conversation drifted at times to the ecology and the wellbeing of this precious gem. It’s only fair to say that sometimes we don’t appreciate what we have until we lose it, and I think this can apply to (some) Gozitan’s. That’s not meant as a swipe at the locals it’s just a fact that I’ve seen wherever I’ve landed in the world. So maybe it would be a good idea for those of us that know what we’re all in danger of losing, to do something about it and create the “buzz” and try to raise awareness with the “locals” to preserve what they have before its lost forever.

Gozo is perfect for a ‘real world’ experiment at being “eco-friendly”. Just think about it, we have a small island that can only be reached by ferry, plenty of sunshine and natural resources that can sustain a sound eco community. We talked last night about electric cars the pros and cons, and we can give our views in the comments below. But to get started, I think all combustion engines could be banned from the island (now that is a controversial statement but I don’t mind controversy). OK I know the Gozitan’s are car crazy, but exceptions could be made by special licence for certain ‘antique cars’. Electric recharge points could be made available all over the island and with our sunshine they could be solar-powered (the technology is available so we just have to convince someone to pay for it) and that should be the easy part. I don’t know about you but I’d love to be sat at a roadside café without my senses being attacked by some tornado of a motorbike tearing past and further deafening this poor old CB.

The island abounds with its own natural herbs, and I know someone who knows everything about that, sadly she leaves next week, but with a little encouragement I’m sure she could be persuaded to return even as a visitor to advise on the opportunities for the rich harvest we’re walking on. There are already some organic farms here I don’t know where or how many but there are companies that I know of that will help develop organic farming, Agrilicious is one, OK they’re based in Seattle USA but Duane Dahl their co-founder is a really fair entrepreneur and philanthropist and with a little encouragement I’m sure we could persuade him and his team to offer their advice if not involvement.

Already on the island some people have installed solar panels, but I see very few wind turbines and no wave technology and they could be introduced in a less intrusive way ‘cos as those of us here know there’s plenty of waves and wind here, especially when CBs had a few beers (sorry girls). This tiny unassuming island could become a mecca for ecologists around the world and a true example of what can be achieved, the only barrier we have is apathy, and that’s where we need to focus attention.

For those that don’t know (that’s everyone), I’m writing a semi-serious book about Gozo (now that is a first the Crazy Brit trying to be serious). My book centre’s on some of this islands wonderful resources both past, present and the future. Frenc tal Gharb is rightly considered something of a saint here for his healing abilities, he has his own Facebook page, there’s a museum here in my little village of ? Well, I said I’d let the cat out of the bag in my last post so yes it’s GHARB (but please don’t swarm here we can do without all you cheapskates coming in your polluting cars and stuff). I’m sure resurrecting the healing properties of the island’s natural resources would be a fitting epitaph to Frenc tal Gharb’s memory, and I know he’s is admired by everyone here, so why not?

The fact of the matter is that this whole subject is way too big to cover in one simple blog post, especially by someone who’s new to the island, so if there’s anyone out there that cares (and I know there are) then let’s start a campaign to make Gozo green, now there’s a good campaign slogan Gozo Green or GREEN GOZO. And that come’s from someone dare I say, that’s come up with a few of those (in his dark shadowy past). Oh crap I hope the FBI don’t see this. So the newbie on the island is gonna shut up now (cheers all around) and pass it on to comments (even just good or bad) from the audience after all as the new boy round here I’m still learning.

I was asked yesterday what would happen to all the old cars and wouldn’t the owners be unhappy about having them banned? Understandable (I have one too at the moment) I suggested that the government/EU/Private investors could fund a free exchange program new electric car for old petrol car (new lamps for old) I don’t know about other residents but I’d quite like a new electric car and if Mr Sebastian Thrun (ex Google and inventor of the driver-less car) gets involved they could even be driver-less, imagine that just jump in the car say home James and chill out. Whatever next….hmmm this would be nice>>

That’s all from me folks now it’s up to you PEACE x

John Paul Chalkley aka The Crazy Brit

STANDING STRONG

Today, I wanted to talk about what is probably Gozo’s most impressive (but not oldest) structure the cittadella. I now have family reading the blog so I’ll tone down the innuendo and double entendre (ha as if! sorry big sis). You can see the Cittadella from most parts of the island and when you stand on one of the highest points, which I did today (take your oxygen supply with ya) you can see the Med to the West and the East. It’s currently going through large-scale renovation and access is hampered as you will see, but certainly possible.

The cittadella or citadel as some would call it, has stood strong since the early 15th century, but there was a bronze age site there before the citadel was built, which was improved on by the Phoenicians and the Romans. The Ottomans raided the Cittadella in 1551 and captured virtually the whole population of Gozo, selling hem into slavery leaving just a few hundred behind. If the Crazy Brit had been there, and who’s to say he wasn’t (‘cos I do have my Tardis) I’d have given those scallywags what for.

Eventually, in poor condition, limping (sorry I’ve a sore foot) and exhausted (COPD) it was worth the climb (If only I had a new body) the view was outstanding and there were many old parts of the construction left as it was back 100s of years ago and lots of exhibits. A good thing for all you foodies is that there’s an excellent restaurant when you get up there. I refuse to give the name as none of the others I’ve mentioned have offered me a complimentary yet so be warned all you restaurateur’s if you don’t feed CB you won’t get a plug (hey I’m a starving writer I need some reward)

But I digress I mentioned some of the exhibits and one in particular I gave a wide berth was the old prison. Somewhere in a past life I think I’ve had a sample of being in the stocks, it’s no fun having rotten apples thrown at you and I still get that today as I walk down the street in my little village of (look there’s no chance of telling you unless you give me some money and then I’ll tell you its name).

I’m off for a quick Cisk, the local beer, it’s very good, then I’ll stagger down past lots of other interesting stuff into my car. Yes I know sister, no drinking and driving, (crap why do all these women keep telling me what to do), I’m 65 years old. OK I admit I’m just a little crazy, I’m in a world of my own in my little village of €s please, I also take £s or even $s so there’s no excuse if you really want to know the name of my village. But I’ve gotta tell ya if you haven’t worked that out by now I’m beginning to wonder who the crazy one is round here. I’ll tell you what I’ll let the cat out of the bag in my next post. Hmm that could turn out to be a VERY revealing post…stay tuned.

The Crazy Brit good-bye for now PEACE!

SMILE

I’ve had what some would call a frustrating day today, but I have to smile at what’s gone on and the way the system (and I use that word in the broadest sense), how the system works. Actually I still haven’t clearly worked it out. They call me CRAZY, well I’ve learnt to keep smiling and with some of the experiences I’ve gone through today may help some of you to avoid the pitfalls.

OK so here we go, I arrive in Gozo and am given the keys to my apartment. Joe my landlord has been great and is always looking for ways to improve things and help me with anything I need. I have to say, this isn’t the typical experience that people find, but he’s a bit crazy (like you know who). So I’ve absolutely no complaints on the number 1 thing you have to do when you arrive, GET SOMEWHERE TO LIVE! My village (I’m still not saying where it is) is perfect for what I need, but I think I’ve covered that in my previous posts. But the second thing I felt was important was to make sure I had access to medical care if it was needed. I arrived with my E.H.I.C (European Health Insurance Card) they’re given to you for free provided your country is a member of the EU, so if you take ill while away then you’ll be treated there, and the bill is sent to (in my case) the British N.H.S.

It’s a reciprocal arrangement for all EU countries, so whenever you go on holiday to an E.U country, and if your home country is in the EU always make sure you have your little blue card. Consequently I go to the very excellent hospital in Rabat and walk to the accounting department and hand them the S1 form I was sent from H.M.G in the UK. This is to arrange for me to qualify for Maltese health care. The “little blue card” isn’t any use once you’re a resident here, although I’m sure if you needed treatment they’d use it. So the lady in the office takes the S1 form which the UK government sent to my new address in (Ah you nearly caught me there). They do that to make sure you are a resident, if it was done any other way I guess that would open the “system” to fraud.

Now the next thing I need is to open a bank account “easy peasy in any other country”, but not here, at one stage I complained to the bank and said “perhaps I should find someone else willing to take MY money”. OK I know I don’t have a lot but that’s never stopped anyone wanting what I’ve got anyway (no names mentioned). Without access to your money you can’t buy “stuff” or pay rent, so having access to money is, I would say quite important. However you can’t open a bank account unless you’re a resident. HELLO! So wait for it, to obtain residency you have to show you are living here permanently, and show copies of bank statements. Are you still with me? I’m not sure I am.

Now I’ve been with HSBC since before they came to the UK, and they suggested I became a Premier customer years ago, I didn’t need to do anything but my “personal banker” Jill, arranged an account in the US for me, and I had very little to do to get it. I wasn’t exactly loaded but was getting money from different sources in the UK and the US. I’ve gotta say I’ve been a Premier customer for several years and it’s a great program with lots of benefits and it costs NOTHING (just click the link and see). So Michael at the bank, after a rough start (me going just a bit crazy with him-sorry Michael) gets stuck in and starts really helping to ease the process for me and removes a LOT of the unnecessary red tape. But the final thing he needed was me to prove I had been accepted as a resident. “Go to the Ministry” he says, “and get the paperwork going they will give you a temporary document which we can use to prove you are a resident”

The Citadella Rabat

So I get up very early this morning and drive into Rabat/Victoria (I prefer Rabat as that’s what the Gozitan’s call it and it was us Brits that forced them to change the name to honour Queen Victoria) and that’s just not cricket old chap. Anyway I’m there by 7-15 am they open at 8 am but it was a lovely day so I sat in the courtyard and watched the staff arriving for work. A nice young lady opened up the door smiled and said, we don’t open ‘til 8, Oh I know I’m fine here in the sunshine (yes all you people in the cold and rain, eat your heart out).

So it’s now 8 am, she says you can come in now, she promptly goes and takes a selection of forms staples them together and asks me to bring them back when they’re completed, along with all of the other things I need to prove “economic self-sufficiency” Now I’m no lawyer and I don’t agree with age or sex discrimination, in fact I fought a case in the US against one of the US’s biggest retailers for just this type of discrimination (and this will be the subject of another blog), but this young lady who was smiling throughout the whole process clearly expected me to go away and I was n’t sure what her problem was (surely not me I’m just an innocent Crazy Brit).

Now No.1 I may be wrong here, but I though one of the things about being in the EU was the ability to settle in whatever member state you wanted.

No.2 I’ve looked, but the forms I have don’t appear to be referenced, so they can’t be seen on the internet and is that kosher?.

No.3 despite my inane ability to keep smiling I was starting to lose it, but hey ho, it’s a lovely day so what.

Enjoying the sunshine not aware of the battle to come

I told her I’d like to complete them in the office, she was clearly upset and hovered over me as I started to fill out the forms. Before I could go much further she asked if I had the form given to me by the UK government the S1 form (don’t anyone forget to get that, it’s most important) well no I said, I’ve given that to the hospital and they never gave me a copy. Do you also have the last 6 months of bank statements? She said. Holly crap I’m tottering on the verge now, well it’s like this I say, my bank accounts are in the US and the UK and as yet I don’t have one here. So give me copies of those she says. (This is not going well). “I’ll tell you what” I say smiling ” I’ll go back to the hospital and ask them for a copy of the S1”, we prefer the original she replied, Oh.. OK I’ll ask for the originals, I’m sure they won’t mind giving me those now they’ve seen them. (Famous last words).

At this point I’m taking a break, I have a doctor’s appointment in 15 minutes (no not for high blood pressure) but thank god for that little blue card, see you later.

Ciao, well that didn’t take long and how well it went. The service the doctor gave me here was in a different league to what you’d get in the UK or in the US. I have to say I wasn’t surprised as Malta ranks 5^th in the World Health Organisation table of Countries. But consider this, I called in at the pharmacy Ta’Pinu and the pharmacist Marica rang the doctor for me and arranged the appointment at the pharmacy with just 2 hours’ notice. Now that is unheard of anywhere in the world and just goes to show how importantly the Maltese regard their health care. And the doctor (I’m not sure I can tell you her name –ethics?) knew what she was talking about, and appeared far more knowledgeable than the average doc. The U.K and U.S by the way are way down the league table in ranking. Anyway, surprisingly my blood pressure was normal and the issue I have (numbness in the hand) is due to me leaning on my arm while I’m writing these blogs (crap I’m doing it now). So I can now issue a health warning not just for reading but for writing these darn things.

Back to those famous last words

“I’ll go back to the hospital and ask them for a copy”, we prefer the original, Oh OK I’ll ask for the originals I’m sure they won’t mind giving me those now they’ve seen them”.

I drive to the hospital, the hospital here is excellent and the staff are very attentive, however when I popped my head into the administration office things went downhill quickly, but its not the ladies fault so I keep smiling. My S1 form had been sent off to Malta and they don’t keep any copies so I’ll have to wait for about a week for it to make its way to me. But what happens if it gets lost in their “system” well I have absolutely no idea! So after trying very hard to persuade the lady to help me out and even my erratic behaviour and sob story didn’t work, I thanked her for her help (do that whatever the case) and I then made my way back to the Ministry. Maybe they would take pity on me. No chance.

Oh!”Dearie me” I said smiling like a Cheshire cat. Thank you for your help I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens. But if you see me begging on the street corner because I’ve no money remember me, I said to her. Dead silence, no response apart from that “sweet” smile again. Well at least this helps me demonstrate to you how important it is to keep as many documents as possible and bring them with you. Now I thought I was being clever when I set out for Gozo I scanned everything into my external Seagate hard drive and guess what, it stopped working! After long periods of live online chat this was the final message

“Dear John: Thank you for contacting Seagate Support. Based on your replay, you have a defective. Unfortunately, the drive is out of warranty and cannot be replaced. If you are interested in recovering the data via Seagate, please contact our fee based Data Recovery Services by visiting the link below:http://www.seagate.com/services-software/data-recovery-services/consumers/in-lab-data-recovery/ Alternatively, you could remove the drive from the external enclosure and connect it into a compatible third party enclosure. However, note that if you are not very careful, you may damage the platters, thereby making it difficult for even data recovery experts to recover the files. For additional assistance, feel free to contact us at:http://www.seagate.com/gb/en/about/contact-us/technical-support/ Regards, Leslie Seagate Support ref: _00D00hhzl._5003Aeau8r: ref”

I’m dumbfounded! I need to go and lay down in a dark room, close my eyes and just relax, I should really go to the Lotus-Tal-Qalb to chill out, but I’m there tomorrow for another massage, I need to de-stress and Nico is just the person to help, besides now I have a physical issue with my hand so I convince myself I can afford it .

Now you would think at this stage nothing else could happen to frustrate me aha. I didn’t mention that just before I came to Gozo I bought a new cell phone, I sat on it and the screen cracked. I ordered a new screen from eBay, not a lot of money but expensive for carriage, and I have to wait awhile for delivery. But I’ve been ordering a lot online recently, to get things I couldn’t find on Gozo, a landline phone for example. So I mentioned this to someone and they suggested I went to Sound and Vision. Sound and Vision continued the trend for the way Gozo retailers display themselves (very low key). I go inside it looked quite small on the outside, but when you go inside you find the place is massive, it’s like walking into my Tardis, small on the outside, but big and well stocked on the inside. I explain my predicament to Jason the owner and he’s happy to wait for the screen I bought on eBay to be delivered and see if he can fit it for me. Big relief thank you, so what’s frustrating about that. Sound and Vision have a large display of phones and they’re the same as the one I bought on eBay. They’re cheaper and I can have one right now. Crap I’m throwing good money away here, so I buy a cheap non-electrical phone so when I have a power cut (with my luck it will happen) I can still use the phone. Everything you need right here on Gozo, it’s just that you have to search to find it. I think I’ll have to give up blogging and maybe offer my marketing services to the local retailers (there was a time I was OK at that).

So remember, Gozo residency can take some time to process (no longer than other countries though) it’s something of a mine field getting through the process. Don’t lose your temper with anyone, they’re just telling you what they’ve been told (it’s just a pity that they’re all told different things). But this is part of the charm of Gozo, at least you interact with humans instead of talking to a machine. So if you haven’t yet moved here, and are thinking about it, COME, its wonderful, but prepare as much as you can, and bring all the relevant documents. Forget the clothes and all the other crap I brought, and remember when out shopping that the shop on the inside is way different than the look of it on the outside. But isn’t that nice (not seeing all those advertising banners) and what have you, it all looks so “un-commercialized” just like going back in time.

I’m in that Tardis again.

addiju sakemm il-ħin li jmiss (goodbye until the next time)